A travel through Preemie-time with Jack and Owen

We proudly introduce our twin grandson’s Jack and Owen and their enduring big brother Kaden. Today, the twins are either 4 months old, out of the womb or 5 weeks old from their due date; it depends on how you look at life?
As grandparents, it has felt like a 4 month life-time.

A travel through Preemie Time:

Fast forward and then rocket reverse while frozen numb in time

 

Easy-going Owen

Mighty Jack

Remember the phrase, ‘just take it in baby steps’ while we methodically stumbled through lifes most confusing or difficult moments and triumphed over a simple success?

On July 5, 2011 one unexpected moment in time, we welcomed our preemie twin grandsons Jack and Owen into this world. Greeted with bruising, slicing screams of terror and abundant tears of joy, they challenged our perception of what 'baby steps' meant in a 3 month premature life.  Our family has evolved into different people while traveling through the ‘Preemie Steps’ of life…

… Like walking on smooth stones, then sinking sand, landmines, sunshine or rainbows…it all depends on the day.

Grammie and Grandpa touching the twins for the first time

It was a beautiful summer day and Brian and I were out for a long bike ride with our neighbor when we received the call.  We peddled as fast as we could, strait to the hospital and arrived in a sweaty panic just before Christy and Travis were whisked off to the operating room.  The first sight of the twin boys, as they were rushed past us was both shocking and relieving. Their bodies were wrapped in plastic to keep their warmth, their heads; the size of an apple were bruised, tubed and wired. It was a miracle to us that they could survive and we cheered at their 2.4 and 2.5 lbs.

 Jack came into the world the usual way through the birth canal, but Owen struggled at the end and had to make an emergency exit as the doctors cut through the abdomen and womb to bring him into our world.  His birth caused trauma both in his body and his Mother’s, as the numbing epidural was not working at the time of incisions. Feeling the full effects of the cuts through her body, Christy screamed at the doctor to stop but there was no choice but to save Owen’s life. The operating crew got a bit of a bruising to restrain Christy, and Travis walked out of his first delivery room saying, “Wow Dad, that was intense. I can’t believe you did it three times?”  When Christy woke from the general anesthesia given to her at the moment of crisis, she simply wanted to know “what the F* happened and where are my babies?”  The babies were fine and her large supporting crowd was tearing with joy and relieved that she was going to be all right as well. Their and our first preemie breaths had been taken.

The twins began their life with the support of constant air flow, heart and breathing monitors and 24 hour professional care. Travis, Christy and Kaden stood over them every day without the opportunity to hold their babies or bond in an ordinary way.  They began to stabilize and we could touch them through the incubators, then the day came when Travis and Christy could hold them. It was a huge preemie step to have them out of their incubators, even if it were only for a few minutes of parental bonding. 
 

We were confident that the road to recovery was going to be smooth and felt like we were walking with confidence…until the call came that the doctors had found a hole in Jack’s heart.  He was immediately put on medication to see if the hole would heal or show improvement after treatment. We held our own breath for a week, watching him transition through the onset of constant needles and testing. He remained strong, always fussing and fighting as we stood vigilant at his side telling him to “Get tough Mighty Jack, we’re expecting great things from you,” and then we went home silently weeping for our tiny shriveled little man.  Our fears and tears were concealed from our kids as they needed only constant love and strength to endure this time. The days to follow, both boys began to turn yellow and needed blood transfusions and luckily had suitable donors. It was risky to have Jack go through the transfusion at such a vulnerable time of weakness. We kept our faith that his body would not get an infection or rejection from the new blood and sure enough, he immediately began to show his true fighting colors.  These preemie steps felt like we were on a slippery slope; reaching and falling back each time but they began to stabilize again and we were cautious and optimisticly moving ahead.

Travis, Christy and Kaden made a new life and a second home at Emmanuel Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. We don’t know how they managed with Travis working overtime, Kaden dealing with the changes and Christy aching to have her family at home.  Their schedule left little time for home cooking, cleaning or family time outside of the intensive care unit. Kaden found other big brothers and sisters to play games with and achieved almost all levels of Mario Brothers while spending his entire summer in the NICU ward.  Brian and I found compassion attending a support group hosted at Emanuel for preemie families while Travis and Christy made a new extended family with the hospital staff. They took classes, tapped into resources and were gaining confidence in their new parental role. Their strength was amazing and the twins were making good progress, learning to breast feed, turn their heads, follow objects and were putting on some pounds.  We were walking on sunshine seeing steady improvements.

I remember standing on a ladder, helping Brian paint a house when we got the call.  Doctors had found internal bleeding in the brains of both twins. I felt faint and had to immediately sit down and gather myself.  The vessels in preemie baby brains are fragile and are susceptible to changes in blood flow and can break. Owen had a traumatic delivery, therfore showed a larger portion of bleeding.  Only over time, we will know how this may or may not have affected their development. At the moment, we just rushed to the hospital to be with our kids and educate ourselves about the diagnosis.  When fear of the unknown creeped into our heads, we filled it with faith and read whatever we could find, to encourage our family to be strong. We could not image what Travis and Christy were going through while we pretended to be strong.  Their lives were so different than one year ago as young lovers; planning their pregnancy and imagining their new young happy family. 
We sat together in the NICU as Travis read out loud to us, all the possible outcomes of minor and severe brain bleeding.  We closed the book, walked over to their incubators and told them “You’re going to be just fine.” Their little bodies were getting more perfect every day and our love will make them strong enough to get through anything that life gives them!  The next two scans came back with encouraging results showing no additional bleeding and it appeared that the bleeding could have been from the initial birth. As they develop, they will continue to have screening, to help us identify if they will need extra care. 

We normally watched over the twins nearly every day for the first month but one morning Brian and I woke up unusually anxious to get to the hospital early. We checked in, washed, sanitized and then entered the Bunny 1 and Bunny 2 cubicles wide eyed and scared.  Twin Owen was surrounded by a team of doctors and nurses and his incubator was elevated to an emergency position. They were poking, scanning, and inspecting his fragile and colorless body. I was  too terrified to speak and they didn’t know we were behind them until I could manage a simple, “what happened?” The doctor finished his examination and turned around to explain what they were doing. Somehow he managed to soothe our immediate fears while delivering the news of a neurosis of the intestines which needed immediate treatment and if not diagnosed and cured correctly, could be life-threatening.  Owen had several spells throughout the night where he stopped breathing and began losing his blood oxygen.  We stayed with him as they finished his brain scan, took numerous blood tests, poked at his tummy and finally resorted to putting him on life support.  We held back tears staring at our tiny lifeless-looking grandchild with taunt pale gray skin, now lying completely motionless, nearly naked and exposed, twisted in wires and tubes.  As if these twins had not been through enough already, on his one month birthday, Owen was now facing a life threatening disease and needed another blood transfusion. Our heart hurt for Owen, for Christy, Travis and Kaden and we shook our head when Travis asked, “How can they have every preemie problem in the book?” 

Tensions were elevated, sleep was lacking, and we were all emotional wrecks at this step of the preemie time-travel. I remember thinking that we did not have the energy to keep our chin up and give our kids the optimistic strength they needed. We were beginning to feel defeated by the whole preemie experience. When I asked super-mom how she was doing and what she needed this time, she admitted “Not doing so good any more. We need whatever good energy or prayers you can give us.”  I took one long breath and confidently replied, “You’ve got it. I’m on it.”  I quickly wrote a couple of lines celebrating the twins one month Birthday and sent it out to you, my favorite and loyal friends and family,

  

“I ask of you Today, and now, that you take this moment and send out your good thoughts of Health and Strength to them. Owen is especially in need of your positive thoughts, prayers and uplifting energy TODAY, as he is really struggling with health issues.”

The positive words, songs, phone calls, texts, messages of encouragement and prayers in response were overwhelming.  As they flowed in from all over the world, they were immediately copied and sent to Travis and Christy. Their ‘in box’ was full every day with your good energy and we all had a miraculous recovery because of it. We drew strength from your love and kindness and we still can’t thank you enough.  Owen responded well to his treatment and transfusion and was off life support within 5 days. 

Things were looking up again and there was a happy skip to our preemie walk. Christy finished the twins’ nursery, baby showers were bringing us together, both boys were off assisted air, eating, gaining weight and there was talk of the twins coming home soon.  We celebrated as they hit the 5 pound mark and the kids continued to take preemie classes for car seats, first aid, CPR and general care of their preemie babies.  We could see the pot of gold at the end of our preemie rainbow and we began to rest.

And then…The stress of preemie life parenting caught up with Travis. The body has a funny way of holding up when it needs to and then breaking down afterwards, screaming ‘what about me’. Travis was admitted to Emmanuel Hospital for three miserable nights with a severe tonsillitis infection which closed his airways.  The awesome hospital staff rolled in a bed for Christy and Kaden so that they could sleep at the hospital together as a family. Christy could go back and forth from the twins room to Travis, all under the same big roof for the first time and this made us happy in a peculiar way.

Preemie-day by preemie-day, the twins were able to feed, sleep and wake on their own, calling out for their needs. Travis and Christy understood their different personalities and comforts and became confident in their care. The twins were out of incubators and sleeping together for their first time since the womb. 
Life had shifted to a new and reassuring constant preemie pace and three weeks before their due date on September 7^th,  Jack and Owen went home. 

The twins adjusted well to the new environment of day light and dark, smells, sounds, cars, kids, tv, telephone, pets and visitors.  Everything was entirely new to them and they didn’t seem to care as long as they were fed and bed.  And then one afternoon, at the very same time, they both stopped breathing and turned purple.  While the ambulances raced them back to the hospital, they began to perk up and breathe again. We stood over them in the Emergency Room wondering what was going on?They looked fine and alert by the time they were admitted and we didn’t know what to think. Brian concluded that they were having a contest of ‘who could hold their breath the longest’ followed by a race of ‘who had the fastest ambulance’. Or maybe they wanted to see shiny lights and sirens? The doctors concluded that they had acid reflex and preemies did not know how to catch their breath.  They were sent home with parents who tirelessly watched over them breathe…moment by preemie moment while trying to maintain a functional family life.

Just when confidence was building and life was beginning a new normal, one terrifying night occurred, which will remain with us forever.  

Travis heard a twin start to fuss and went to get bottles ready so that Christy could rest.

He came back to see who was hungry and found Owen unresponsive, lifeless, cold and blue.  He pulled his baby boy from the bed and woke Christy. They ripped off his clothes to find that he was not breathing and without a pulse. While Travis called for an ambulance, Christy brought Owen to her lap and began preemie CPR, pressing her thumbs into his tiny chest and breathing her air into his lungs.  After what felt like a life-time and in one sudden moment, Owen released a small gasp and began to move. He choked and sputtered until he regained his full breath again while the paramedics rushed him back to the hospital. Owen was in isolated care for a week  and was diagnosed with acid reflex and sleep apnea, then went back home to his family. Both twins now have sleep monitors and alarms and parents are trying to learn to sleep again.  We celebrate Owen back to life every day and are grateful for his parents who learned and responded to the crisis.

I cannot even begin to write the despair these parents have gone through in the entire preemie process, or of finding their child lifeless and needing to resuscitate their baby back into our world.  Comforting them in my arms, I remember Travis saying “You don’t know... No one should ever have to do that.”  I can say that we are very proud of their strength and support in each other, while I share an ache for their frightening memories and the fear for what could have happened just a moment later. Travis, Christy and Kaden are recovering from the ordeal in amazing form and are regaining a new confidence, one preemie-moment at a time.  We are in awe of their never-ending commitment to their family, their determination to triumph over the preemie steps and double our respect for super-mom after we did our first 6 hour shift of twin-care last week.

Twins Jack and Owen are a healthy 8 pounds now, without an alarm episode for several weeks and are doing great.  They are normal babies, rolling over, smiling, swatting at toys and staying healthy.  These steps are not ‘giant steps for man-kind’ but they are huge steps in our preemie time-warp-world.

"Happy 4 Month Birthday Jack and Owen. Kaden we are so proud of you!
All three of you are perfect and we love you forever."